I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
