I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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