It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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