I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
