Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
this is an emotional support booty call
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize