I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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