So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
