Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize