I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
