Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
