But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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