The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
