whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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