After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
