i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
it glows. i had to have it.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
