Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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