He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Randomize
