We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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