OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
