Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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