just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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