the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
