But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
