i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
