He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
