GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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