Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
17 year olds will be the death of me.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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