Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
