YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize