I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
