apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
