return my video game
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
