You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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