my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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