For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
