I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
