Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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