my phone needs a breathalizer
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
