Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize