I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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