Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I just want to make out with him forever
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
