Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
