Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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