my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
