someone get that fucking seahorse.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
