so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
you win again, gameday.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
