yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Even my vagina gasped.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
