Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
why is half of my head shaved?
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