She said her name was "party"
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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