I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
