i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
