Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
