Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
You are the jesus of drinking
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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