dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize