there's paper in my vomit.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Randomize
