Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
party gras won. party gras always wins.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
