You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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