it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
