You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
