dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
