If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
well you can't waste a boner
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
