somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
