I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
