There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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