the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
