I want to stick my p in your. b.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
