i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
