Define "chronic" masturbator.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
